I imagine the conversation that would happen if my child were in a daycare or preschool. My child enters the facility full of welts, scratches and other sorts of inflictions all over his body. This would be my exchange with the responsible and concerned daycare coordinator:
Coordinator: "Ma'am your child came into school today looking like he fell down a flight of stairs. Is your home properly baby proofed?"
Me: "Yes. My home is not the problem, it's my child. We keep him contained in a padded enclosure in our living room with only his toys and the softest of objects. Even in this padded baby cell, he still manages to scratch himself, fall down onto the floor, fall on himself and his toys, trap his fingers and other extremeties under any possible object, while holding the object on himself with the other hand until he screams. He likes to go head first off of any height and doesn't understand the concept of gravity at all. He seems to do anything in his power to inflict pain on himself. I have looked for fully padded suits, or a helmet, but none are made in his size. My next thought was to make a big container of one thick jello jiggler and keep him in it up to his neck until he grows out of this phase. Although, I worry this might give him a diabetes problem later in life so I'm totally open to any other suggestions"
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