Things They Don't Tell You When You're Pregnant (or that may seem too unbelievable to be true)

• you will bleed for a a full month or two after you give birth—my doc explained it as 9 months of period coming out at once…fun!
• afterward everything hurts- it hurts to walk, it hurts to pee, just forget about doing a BM- you won’t even want to attempt that for weeks. just eat lots of prunes
• i am not a supermodel/out-of-reality TV star…my clothes do not fit the same and my belly and belly button just look sadly abused and deformed
• newborns cry…a lot.
• feeding every 2 hours is not feed for 15 minutes and take a two hour break. It’s feed for an hour and then there’s a half hour of burping and farting until he’s finally able to sleep for 20 minutes if you’re lucky, or maybe he just lays there making lots of nasal breathing noises and hiccups and then he poops it all out (in yellow seed form) and then now screams for more food.
• breastfeeding- is just that…a hungry animal feeding off your breast…that nipple will be abused in every way.. gnawed on, stretched and when babies latch on its like a super bolt lock suction…not easy to break

The best part is you’ll hurt more if you don’t feed him…engorgement is like a super boob job about to explode