Going Back to the Real World...aka working again

My last days at home. 3 months has flown by. I was only just starting to feel normal again after the first month, so this gave me a whopping 2 months to figure everything else out. Going back to work now will be rough, considering we’re still not sleeping through the night. At most I get 5 hrs at a time and that is on an especially good night, sometimes its no more than 2 hours…ugh. My attempts at any real schedule have been pretty fruitless.

That’s his sucker punch for me. He’s becoming a real fighter now, a real tough guy…arms punching and legs kicking. And I’ll sure need a good punch to get through my work day on 2+ hours of sleep.

We haven’t been separated for more than 5 hours at a single time since his birth. 5 is our magic number here. Now we’ll be separated at least 11 hours a day, 4 days in a row. During this separation time my boobs will need to maintain his only source of sustenance.
Aside from worrying about some separation anxiety I’m worried about keeping my boobs flowing without him yelling at them to work 24/7. Maybe a skype session can help with that, while I sit in the ladies bathroom stall with my pump? Oh the joy… It really seems more appealing to be an African tribal native about now.
  My job would involve sitting out in an open plain with my babe on my breast, while I work hard at making clay pots or mashing some kind of grub for the menfolk when they get home from their hunt.

Things They Don't Tell You When You're Pregnant (or that may seem too unbelievable to be true)

• you will bleed for a a full month or two after you give birth—my doc explained it as 9 months of period coming out at once…fun!
• afterward everything hurts- it hurts to walk, it hurts to pee, just forget about doing a BM- you won’t even want to attempt that for weeks. just eat lots of prunes
• i am not a supermodel/out-of-reality TV star…my clothes do not fit the same and my belly and belly button just look sadly abused and deformed
• newborns cry…a lot.
• feeding every 2 hours is not feed for 15 minutes and take a two hour break. It’s feed for an hour and then there’s a half hour of burping and farting until he’s finally able to sleep for 20 minutes if you’re lucky, or maybe he just lays there making lots of nasal breathing noises and hiccups and then he poops it all out (in yellow seed form) and then now screams for more food.
• breastfeeding- is just that…a hungry animal feeding off your breast…that nipple will be abused in every way.. gnawed on, stretched and when babies latch on its like a super bolt lock suction…not easy to break

The best part is you’ll hurt more if you don’t feed him…engorgement is like a super boob job about to explode