Up until a few weeks ago I rarely ever had anyone offer me a seat on the subway, but now at 6+ (almost 7 months) I am looking very obviously pregnant and now taking the subway during rush hour has become a game of "Will anyone offer their seat to the pregnant woman?" I would say maybe half the time if I'm standing near someone nice they will offer up a seat. The rest of the time I just stand for those 25 minutes while everyone looks down or away from my general direction. One time a woman looked at my belly about 5 or 6 times before looking around (I guess to check if anyone else would offer) and then tentatively asking if I wanted to sit.
I get it that people, and generally its the guys, don't want to give up their nice comfy plastic seats. It's easier to pretend not to notice.
So this is what was going on yesterday when another woman, also standing on the train, loudly asks me if anyone has offered their seat. [This is not the first time a woman has come to my rescue to find me a seat.] I tell her no, but not to worry about it. She of course is not about to let the row of able bodied men sitting in front of me get away with this and again very loudly asks any of them if they can give me their seat. All but one man looks away and pretend not to hear her. The one man actually looks up at me and says right to my face, "No." He said it quietly enough so the woman trying to get me a seat didn't hear him, but I have to say I was really shocked. And having been in this city for over 10 years I've seen alot of rudeness. I mean I get that none of those guys wanted to give up a seat. Obviously if they wanted to they would have already, but to actually tell someone to their face, "No I'm not giving up my seat because I'm choosing to be an inconsiderate ***" was something new for me.
End of story, none of those guys gave up their seats, although only the one was brutally honest with me about his feelings on giving up seats to pregnant women (perhaps he feels the same way about the elderly and disabled). Instead a woman (of course it was a woman) on the other side of the train got up for me.
Another blog about the cold shoulders pregnancy gets on the subway:
http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2012/07/26/being-a-pregnant-woman-on-the-train-is-no-fun/
And another funny Times article. I have been offered seats in my last pregnancy by white guys, although more often than not, no guys (no matter what color) offered their seat.
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/28/complaint-box-subway-squatters/
